A major challenge to our femininity is being sold
out by our ‘girlfriends’.It is always painful and confusing when you find out
that your friend backstabbed you.They may have said mean things about
you,spread rumours or shared your deepest secrets.
This is absolutely normal but an insult to our
womanhood.Why do our friends do this?-Because
of their own
insecurities,jealousy,idleness or to get back at you.And sometimes your friends
are not really your friends at all.
Some friendships are able to mend after such an
issue while others are not even worth keeping.We however make whatever
decisions that feel best for us.
Face
down your friend.-Ask her to have a conversation with you.Talk to her
away from other people.Tell her what you heard,avoid mentioning names.Most of
the time we find out about backbiting through other people.It is important to
find out her side of the story.
Tell her how you feel and do not beat around the
bush.Remain calm however.Allow her to talk and do not interrupt to avoid
raising an argument.
By this you will determine if the friendship is
worthsaving.
If she is honest,open and remorseful for her actions,the relationship is
fixable.All relationships have ups and downs.
Improve
communication with your friend Establish
expectations for your friendship Forgive
your friend.
If she is not willing to be honest about her
actions or if it is arecurring issue with this lady,it might be best to
separate your ways.Therefore;
Cut
yourself from the relationship.-This can be hard but its always best to end a
friendship that has become toxic.If someone hurts you constantly,its wrong and
less ladylike to keep them in your life. Delete
her on social media-Internet and technology makes it challenging for women to
distant themselves from difficulties.Therefore,do not leave any window open for
her to hurt you even more. Unfriend/unfollow her so that you do
not have to keep seeing their posts.Block them is they are doing things to harass
you…women can be crazy.lol Remain
civil when you see each other.If you meet accidentally,stay calm and collected
especially if you have mutual friends.If you see her in public,keep your
distance.
There is always something to learn from every
situation.And backstabbing by a close female friend is no different.
Hopefully you have learnt how to deal with conflict and how to stand for
yourself like the woman of substance we are striving towards being.Learn from
your experiences.
Along with the saying “treat others as you wish to
be treated”,have a wonderful week.
NJERI
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